DAMNIT - I AM NOT A ROBOT–Don Hanley’s blog #102

. . . But they, i.e., teachers, ministers, family members, and our culture, sure tried to make me one. Read these sentences slowly:

Now repeat after me: I am a good boy if I do what I am told to do. If I do not obey, I will be punished in some way. I might be spanked or hit, or I might miss something like a meal, or be put on a ‘time-out’. I could also be ignored or face other punishments. I will live in fear. In the most severe homes, churches, or schools, even if I don't understand what I am supposed to do, I will be punished for not doing it.

“I am a worthless little pile of shit.” That one line was laid on me when I was six years old in 1939. Most others had different and softer labels applied to them, but they too often were not helpful enough to lift the mantle of being too small, too ignorant, or not helpful, and so on. “You are a good boy (or girl)", is of little help.

“God made me and I must love Him, serve Him, obey Him, and fear Him, if I wish to go to heaven when I die and be happy with Him forever.” I know Him and learn what He wants me to do by carefully listening to what the holy priests, or wise parents, or teachers, or other adults who are smarter than me, tell me what to believe and to do. Again, I live in fear.

Throughout my 90+ years, I have often wondered what kind of telepathic communication parents use to get their children to be obedient. Now I believe that they share a similar kind of fear about being a ‘good parent’ or being condemned by the society of parents around them. When I was working as a family therapist, I was assigned a young mother of a two-year-old who found my home address. One Sunday, she saw me working in our backyard. She brought her baby to meet me because she was having visiting time with the girl after having her taken away due to child abuse. She plunked the girl down on the grass, and as the baby sat there like a little zombie, Mom took a few steps over to me. She looked at me and then at her baby and exclaimed, “Isn’t she such a good little girl?” She clearly had not heard or understood anything I had said in our first three counseling sessions.

Researchers now tell us that the most complex entity in the universe is the human brain. It contains literally trillions of cells. When I read this, I thought of a twelve-year-old girl in England who was featured on 60 Minutes and who had composed a complete symphony—complete notes for every instrument in the symphony orchestra. The journalist asked her where the music came from. She answered, “From my head. Don’t you have music in your head?” She had not lived in fear. I’m afraid that many, if not most, children’s heads are drowning in fear rather than hearing the ‘creative music' or other giftedness in their heads.

Our individual brains contain billions of creative impulses, while a robot only has the ones stored in its programmed system. Study history and see the hundreds of hours of creativity that have been drowned by fear.

Now, ponder your own mental journey, and if you are a parent or other kind of teacher, stop drowning any creative pulses and fully own the phrase, I Am Not A Robot – and, of course, don’t just eat the menus.

Why so many dictators? – Don Hanley’s blog #28

I asked AI why do so many people search for someone to be their Savior -- even chose evidently outlandishly cruel and selfish people like Trump and dictators? In seconds, here is Chat’s reply:

ChatGPT

The search for a Savior or a strong leader is a complex phenomenon rooted in various psychological, social, and cultural factors. Here are some reasons why people might gravitate towards figures like Trump or dictators, despite their controversial or negative qualities:

1. Fear and Insecurity: In times of uncertainty or crisis, people may feel anxious or insecure about their future. They might look for a strong leader who projects confidence and promises stability and security.

2. Authoritarianism: Some individuals are naturally inclined towards authoritarianism, valuing strong, centralized leadership. They may believe that a powerful leader can bring order and discipline to society, even if it means sacrificing certain democratic principles.

3. Populism: Leaders like Trump often appeal to populist sentiments by positioning themselves as champions of the common people against an established elite. People who feel marginalized or left behind by societal changes may be drawn to leaders who promise to address their concerns.

4. Charismatic Leadership: Charismatic leaders have a magnetic personality and the ability to captivate audiences. Even if their policies or actions are controversial, their charisma can attract a devoted following.

5. Simplification of Complex Issues: Some leaders simplify complex problems into easy-to-understand narratives. This can resonate with people who feel overwhelmed by the complexity of global issues and are drawn to leaders who offer simple solutions or scapegoats.

6. Identity and Belonging: People often seek a sense of belonging and identity. Leaders who promote a strong nationalistic or tribal identity can attract followers who identify with these narratives and feel a sense of belonging.

7. Media Influence: Media plays a significant role in shaping perceptions of leaders. Biased or sensationalized media coverage can contribute to the creation of a larger-than-life image around certain leaders, influencing public opinion.

8. Desire for Change: People may support a controversial leader as a way of expressing frustration with the status quo. The desire for change, even if it involves taking risks, can lead individuals to rally behind leaders who promise to disrupt existing systems.

It's important to note that the reasons people support a particular leader can vary widely, and individual motivations are complex and multifaceted. Additionally, political preferences and choices are influenced by a combination of personal experiences, cultural factors, and the socio-political context of the time.

Thank you - this is the best answer I have found. Is it okay if I share this with mu fb friends?

ChatGPT

Absolutely, you are welcome to share the information with your Facebook friends. If you find the information helpful or informative, sharing knowledge can contribute to a better understanding of complex issues. Feel free to pass along any information you find valuable. If your friends have further questions or need clarification, I'm here to help!

 

On GOD, Fear, and Punishment – Don Hanley’s blog #23

I don’t know how old I was when I first heard this horrible attempt at praise: “He’s a God-fearing man.” “God-fearing”?? I thought God was supposed to be the supreme loving one; was he not?

Then, I saw a gigantic picture of God the Father sitting on a throne above the altar in our church. Is God both a horrible, cruel, bad-ass supreme being And a loving being? I was confused. Now I’m confused that so many millions believe in such a two-faced God – a god that is loving and totally cruel and hateful at the same time. One that can bless us with love, hope, kindness, and creativity and curse us with hatefulness, cruelty, fear, and helplessness. And if we perform any actions driven by the curses, then he will throw us into hell for all eternity. Wow, what a confusing bunch of beliefs.

Now, I really like a friend’s experience when he was six, “When the teacher said God was a supreme being, I thought she said, ‘Supreme Bean.” That god, I can relate to.

I like Albert Einstein’s ideas on God. He puts a modern twist on the idea of God and builds on St. John’s: “God is love, and he who lives in love, lives in God and God in him” (or her). I believe that the kind of fear that affects our view of life and of ourselves is taught to us through our family life, religious instruction, schooling, and political thinking.

In Alice Miller’s book For Your Own Good, she cites a guidebook for parents written by a Christian minister around 1900. He stated that if parents do not break a child’s spirit by the time the child is two years old, those parents will have a monster on their hands. In that same book, she states – that an infant and baby before the age of two can be severely punished by any means necessary, and that will not harm the child for life as he or she will not remember the punishment. Are you as horrified by these two ideas as I was? Sadly, I believe some form of these so-called guidelines is still running loose in too many families, churches, and schools.

This thinking and punishment leads to excessive fear, anger, and hatred toward self and others. The child growing up under these guidelines is crippled for life. So, please, follow more civil and loving guidelines for yourself and your family and your interactions with all others in this world. Now be an increasingly joyous I - Thou. and...

Nurture your heart, AND don’t eat the menu, nor fear the child in yourself.