EINSTEIN’S IDEAS ON LOVE - Chapter Thirty One

EINSTEIN’S IDEAS ON LOVE

SAM

I'm sending this early as an Easter 'present'.

Below is a copy of a letter often attributed to Albert Einstein. While many scholars debate its authenticity, those close to him have noted that these sentiments align with the great man’s deeper philosophies. Regardless of its origin, Jerry Haloran—the founder and leader of the Two Thousand Smiles movement—believes these ideas perfectly reflect the school's core values.

Please read this letter, contemplate its message, and note the specific ideas that resonate most with you. I hope you will discuss these ideas for Easter!

In the late 1980s, Einstein’s daughter, Lieserl, reportedly donated 1,400 of his letters to Hebrew University with the condition that they remain unpublished for two decades after his death. This is said to be one of them:

When I proposed the theory of relativity, very few understood me. What I reveal now to mankind will also collide with the misunderstanding and prejudice of the world.

There is an extremely powerful force for which science has yet to find a formal explanation. It is a force that includes and governs all others; it is the moving power behind every phenomenon in the universe, yet it remains unidentified by us. This universal force is LOVE.

When scientists searched for a unified theory of the universe, they forgot this most powerful unseen force. Love is light, for it enlightens those who give and receive it. Love is gravity, because it makes people feel attracted to one another. Love is power, because it multiplies the best we have and prevents humanity from being extinguished by their evolutionary inherited viciousness and current blind selfishness.

Love unfolds and reveals. For love, we live and die. Love is God, and God is Love. This force explains everything and gives life meaning. It is the variable we have ignored for far too long—perhaps because we are afraid of it, as it is the only energy in the universe that man has not learned to drive at will.

To give visibility to love, I made a simple substitution in my most famous equation. Instead of E=mc2, we might accept that the energy to heal the world can be obtained by multiplying love by the speed of light squared. We conclude that love is the most powerful force because it has no limits. After humanity’s failure to control the other forces of the universe that have turned against us, it is urgent that we nourish ourselves with a different kind of energy.

If we want our species to survive, if we are to find meaning in life, and if we want to save the world and every sentient being that inhabits it, love is the one and only answer. Perhaps we are not yet ready to make a "bomb of love"—a device powerful enough to entirely destroy the hate, selfishness, and greed that could devest  ate the planet. 

HOWEVER, EACH INDIVIDUAL CARRIES WITHIN THEM A SMALL BUT POWERFUL GENERATOR OF LOVE WHOSE ENERGY IS  WAITING TO BE RELEASED. 

When we learn to give and receive this universal energy, dear Liesel, we will have affirmed that love conquers all and can transcend everything, because love is the quintessence of life. I deeply regret not having been able to express what is in my heart, and which has been quietly beating for you all my life. Maybe it’s too late to apologize, but as time is relative, I need to tell you that I love you. Thanks to you, I have reached the ultimate answer! 

Your Father, 

Albert Einstein

PATRIA’S QUARTET CONTINUES AND GROWS - Chapter Thirty

PATRIA’S QUARTET CONTINUES AND GROWS

The afternoon session began with Jack asking Chet about his teaching history. Chet shared that he had spent two years volunteering at a Catholic boys' school. He revealed that while he initially liked the rigidity, but he soon learned that he was in a role more like a policeman than a teacher.

“There was a rule for everything,” Chet said. “It took me weeks to realize I was feeling fear nearly all the time and that 'my' students were too. Some students found fun by picking on weaker kids or annoying the staff, and I hated the gulf between the boys and me. I was told that was just the way it had been for centuries. I guess I believed that for a while.”

I tried to steer him back to his feelings, but he raised a hand in a “stop” gesture. “Patria, this is important. I visited my nephew in San Jose, and his kids were so eager to get to school—it was like me going to Disneyland for the first time. The school was called Two Thousand Smiles. Damn it, I want to spend my later years being a ‘Tator.’ That’s what those kids called their teachers.”

He sat back and took a deep breath, but he wasn’t finished. “So, Jack, what’s your story? I took a leap from retired teacher to Tator. How are you going to jump your Grand Canyon? How do you go from being a shyster lawyer to a humanistic Tator?”

The three of us looked at Jack. He looked defensive as he replied, “Well, Chet, I’m going to learn how to run and jump faster than I ever have. Until this week, I thought my greatest achievement was arguing a case before the Supreme Court. Now I see it was just a sideways movement. Becoming a genuinely loving person—that is jumping the canyon.”

Chet asked, “Did you win the case before the Supremes?”

Before Jack could answer, I jumped in. “Don’t answer that, Jack. It’ll put us off track. Our goal is to know one another better. But tell us, Jack, what is your biggest hurdle to becoming a more loving person?”

“I’ve realized that being truly loving isn’t just about learning new words or actions,” Jack said. “It’s about changing how we experience life and connecting with others. Kathy used the word ‘resonate,’ and I like that. If I want to be ‘real,’ I need to resonate with you. I left here yesterday feeling confused and resentful, thinking you all looked down on me.” He smiled tentatively. “I was more afraid of you three than I was of nine Supreme Court Justices.”

We all laughed, and he continued, “Now, I’m realizing I’m afraid of myself—that maybe I’m incapable of being real.”

Sensing it was time to shift the spotlight, I turned to Kathy. “How do you feel about us, Kathy? Me as your new Tator, Jack our not-so-shy ‘shyster’ lawyer and our grumpy Grandpa Chet?”

Chet chuckled. “Wow, Patria—shyster and grumpy! Are we doomed?” He grinned, clearly enjoying the exchange. “I think I’ll like the give-and-take of being a Tator much more than being a disciplinarian with thirty energetic kids. By the way, how many kids are in each cohort and class?”

“Last non-personal question,” I answered. “Ten per cohort and twenty per class. Each Tator is assigned two of each. Now, back to Kathy: what do you feel about me as your Tator?”

“I think you’re courageous to take on these two hard-headed gentlemen,” Kathy said. “I like how you encounter them without threats. My only experience with fear-based education was in college; I was surprised to find I was more fearless than classmates who had dealt with it for twelve years.”

I nodded my thanks, and Kathy turned to Chet. “Today, Chet, you remind me of my favorite grandpa—kind, funny, and pleasant. I’m starting to like you as I get past those outer walls we all put up.” She then turned to Jack. “Jack, do your daughters look forward to seeing you when you pick them up?”

Jack looked at the ceiling for a long moment. “Yes—if they know we’re going to Universal Studios or some other kid-friendly place. I think anyone with a car would do.” He turned back to Chet. “Maybe your granddaughter could give me a few lessons. Hey, would you and your granddaughter join my daughters and me for an outing? Could we make that happen?”

“You two can talk about that at the break,” I interrupted. “Kathy, thank you for questioning these old—and increasingly nice—guys.”

We continued exploring our connections until the session ended, we then rejoined the larger group. Sam asked the circle, “Our intention for these four-person groups was to achieve the intimacy we hope our students will experience in a month. Are we achieving that?”

Kathy jumped in enthusiastically. “I definitely experienced a connection. We went from antagonists to friends in only four days. Thank you, Patria.” Jack and Chet both nodded in agreement.

Sam then distributed copies of a letter that was supposedly written by Albert Einstein to his daughter. “We’ll discuss this tomorrow,” Sam said. We had decided it was important to ground our philosophy in the spirit of the great scientist, even if the ideas were contained in a fictitious letter.

A QUARRELSOME QUARTET–Chapter Twenty Nine

PATRIA – In first person – A QUARRELSOME QUARTET

“I hope that you are noticing that I am looking each one of you in the eyes and using your first names. From the first day of school, we use our first names and ask the students to do the same. We hope they do that in their own families, but we don’t ask about that. And I imagine you are, at least a little bit, wondering why we chose you to be in a foursome with me.” I silently looked at each one, and I could see the questioning in their eyes. “I chose you, Chet, to be in the group with Jack because you two would be the hardest nuts to crack.”

They glanced at each other questioningly and smiled. Before they could talk back, I went on, “And Kathy, I thought we could use your easy smile and experience having attended a school like Two Thousand Smiles. So, Chet, you look like you are about to burst. What is your good word or question?”

Chet put on a rather stern face and said, “Now, listen here, Young Lady…”

Before he could say another word, I said, “Drop that ‘young lady’ kind of shit, Chet. My name is Patria, and I prefer, and…”

Chet, just as firmly, interrupted me, “And you said I would be a hard nut to crack. My name is Chet, so there.”

“Touché, Chet, I was wrong to say that, and I should have said that we thought that your many years of teaching would make it more difficult to reinvent yourself as an informal and supportive facilitator than those in a younger generation. Is that better?” 

“Yes, much better, and I agree with you, and I like it much better than being seen as a ‘hard nut to crack’.” He smiled.

Jack chuckled, “And now, Patria, what kind of nut do you see me being, and why do you see me as one that is hard to crack? Oh, and thanks, Chet, for standing up for us.” 

I chuckled and responded, “Okay, Jack, if you are like every other lawyer I’ve ever met or read about, you have spent several years around folks who talk in a language that is quite impersonal and one that most of us don’t fully understand, and  I think puts a wall between us. And damnit, I should not have said that – it is not an I-Thou way of talking. So, Jack, I would like to get to know you and for you to get to know me. “ I turned to Kathy and felt more relaxed as I said, “Now, Kathy, please tell us what you are thinking and feeling right now.”

“I’m overwhelmed. I worked  and played at Two Thousand Smiles for 13 years, and I didn't feel that much tension until college. Wow, I’m glad you are with me, Patria. I would never have dared to even talk to Jack or Chet. I’m still not sure I want to get to know you guys.”

Chet reached over and put a hand over Kathy’s right hand, “I’m sorry to hear you say that. Kathy. I have two daughters about your age, 32 and 33, and I hope they are not feeling the way you are now. I’ll have to check. What can I tell you that will put me back into your good graces – or maybe get me into your good graces.”

“Now you’re talking like a damn old fool, Chet,” Jack muttered.

I nearly shouted, “Wow! I could never imagine we would start off so… oh… off-putting. Thanks for being so honest, Kathy. And Chet. Now, I know you are a grandpa. Tell me what I can do to get to know you better - as a person who wants to get back into the classroom.”

“I guess the best thing you can do is just encourage me and to correct me when I talk like a know-it-all old man. All three of you are younger than me, and I really don’t know how to be friends with people younger than me, other than knowing them in their roles. That Martin Buber, fellow, I guess, did know how to just be himself, but I don’t think I do.

“Are you just being yourself when you are with your wife?”  

Chet dragged a handkerchief out of his pocket and dabbed at a few tears, “Oh shit, I can’t be with my wife. She died three years ago.” He put his head down and murmured, “I’m sorry.”

I felt relieved and glad that Chet shared that, “Well, Chet, I’m not. Thank you. Now I’m getting to know you. And how are you doing? Three years isn’t very long. And are you living alone now?”

Chet took his hanky away from his face, glanced at me as if I were an old friend, “One of my granddaughters is staying with me, and she is a delightful companion. Maybe I can start talking with you like I talk with her.”

Kathy reached over and put a hand on his arm, “Please do, I think I would like to be your granddaughter.”

Again, Chet dragged his handkerchief out of his pocket and, through his tears, muttered, “Thanks, Kathy. Do you have living grandparents?”

“Yes, all four of them. My mom’s folks live in Colorado, and my dad’s live up in Riverside County. I get to see both pairs about once a month. The Colorado ones talk more I-Thou-ish than the other two. So, Jack, do you have kids and if so, how old are they?”

Jack first gave Kathy a ‘none-of-your-business’ kind of look, then caught himself, smiled, and said, “Yes, two daughters, and I see them almost every week.” He saw the questioning looks on the three of us and went on, “I’m divorced because my wife got tired of me being such a dick who spent more time being a big shot attorney than a real life person who didn’t have time or, maybe the desire, to be with them.” He did look a bit ashamed of himself and looked the three of us in the eyes and added, “Maybe you three can help me learn how to be with, I mean, really ‘with’ them in a more, ah, oh yeah, I – Thou kind of way.  Oh, and they are both girls, ten and thirteen.”

I said, “Hey, I like you better already. Thank you, Jack.” Kathy and Chet joined me and acknowledged Jack’s openness.  I was hungry, and I looked at my watch. My stomach was on time. “So, Julie has set up a nice lunch for us, so let’s take a break. I’m glad that we are ending our morning better than we started.” I didn’t say a word about sitting together, but we all sat down at the same small table and were served lunch. I explained to my quartet that the Smiles students were served lunch by a senior person every school day, and two big brothers and/or sisters sat down with four students, and that the dining hall was relatively quiet during the school year.

ON BECOMING A FACILITATOR –Chapter Twenty Eight

SAM – ON BECOMING A FACILITATOR 

Patria and I arrived at the college at the same time on Tuesday. Patria immediately started apologizing for hogging the entire afternoon on Monday. “Sam, I didn’t sleep well at all last night. And I can’t blame it on anyone but myself. I still feel guilty for taking the entire afternoon with my rant on education and my explanation for having our Smiles schools. I hope you will forgive me!”

I smiled and gave her a big hug. “Hey, Partner, you don’t need to be forgiven. All the time you were talking, I was looking over our little crowd. No one, absolutely no one, was bored. They were mesmerized by your presentation – you engaged them with your enthusiasm, your conviction, and your articulation. I’m guessing we all needed to hear the reasons we are doing what we are doing.” I handed her a rather heavy package of papers and said, “And to prove I am not disappointed in you, I have 14 copies of your presentation. I think everyone wanted a copy, and I made a few extra copies.” She held the copies to her chest and bent over and kissed me on the cheek and whispered ‘thank you’.

Just then, Jack Ross joined us and looked very different from Monday, and it was not just his outfit. He was dressed in well-worn khaki pants and a bright blue polo shirt under a light gray button-down sweater, unbuttoned. He gave us a welcome, friendly, and relaxed smile, or was it a bit of a smirk? He did look genuinely relaxed, as if he was enjoying being alive. He seemed like a different guy, but I knew from experience that no one felt more than a passing bit of euphoria after only one day. He looked at both Patria and me and said, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything. “  We both shook our heads, and he looked at Patria and continued. “I just want to tell you that I was very moved by your whole program yesterday, especially your presentation in the afternoon, Dr. O.. ah, Patria. I am looking forward to today’s experience. Uh, ah, I’m really not planning to be a facilitator in one of your schools, but I am going to begin a new assignment this January. I am going to be a part-time faculty coordinator at a law school in L.A., and it is all new to me. I was talking with a friend in the Bay area and she suggested that I attend this program if I could.” He glanced questioningly at each of us, and  I guess he saw some encouragement as he went on, “And I, uh, well, I fudged a bit about my reason for being here. I had to pay a bit extra to squeeze into this one.” 

I reached over and put a hand on his shoulder and said, “Please take a deep breath, Jack, and continue.” I had checked with our principal about how he had managed to get in, as we had always limited enrollment to ten. She told me that his ‘bit extra he had paid was ten thousand dollars and that we, i.e., the school, needed the extra dollars.

He smiled, “Thanks, Sam, I just hope you won’t kick me out. See, I’m already learning to talk differently. Law school was all ‘kick ass and take names,’ and I wanted some kind of a more human way of being with people.”  Patria and I both laughed, and Jack smiled.  I had told Patria about the extra dollars, and she agreed that that was a good reason for us to be patient with him.

After a few minutes of dancing and singing, Patria began the day, “Well, that woke me up. I hope it woke you up, too.” They all smiled, mumbled an ascent, or nodded their heads. “I won’t lecture you again this morning but I do want to tell you that early on, Haloran and his first team decided that there was just too much age segregation in our society and it started with schools, so all of our schools are Kindergarten through the twelfth grade and beginning with the fifth grade, each student is paired off with a ninth grader of the same gender. So, every fifth=grader has a ninth-grade brother or sister for one year. And we hope, longer. Every sixth grader has a tenth grader and so on, each year. They eat lunch together two times a week. Also, parents and other adult relatives are invited to join us every morning, if they wish. So sometimes, we’ll have three hundred folks stomping around at nine in the morning. When the second semester begins, we invite you to join us one morning and experience the beginning of our school day. Most visitors are always amazed at how orderly and quickly the students go into their classrooms. Now, let’s hear some questions.”

Chet, our ‘elderly’ applicant, asked, “How do you handle the misbehaving student?” Patria asked him what kind of behavior he was thinking about, and he said, “Oh, pushing or shoving or throwing things - little things like that.” 

Patria replied, “I hope you will learn the answer to that before the end of this week, Chet. I’ll just say we never use any kind of punishment. In our thinking, punishment just teaches fear, anger, and suspicion. I can’t remember the last time I saw that kind of behavior..” All but Jack and Chet nodded, and those two shook their heads as if to say they had their doubts. 

I relieved Patria of the host role and said, “We have found that if we respect the students, they will respect one another and will respect us.” Chet asked, “How do you get the parents involved?”

“That is a very important question, Chet, and we do demand it, and we know that demand is a strong word we rarely use but we do insist on it. We also insist that parents attend a six-week class on our school's philosophy. We discuss our philosophy and methodology with them in the same way we are discussing these ideas and procedures with you this week. Except we don’t expect the parents to get to know one another as well as we hope you all get to know one another.“ Chet and others nodded that they understood. 

Jack said, “I heard that you admitted a boy last Fall, first without his parents but with his two sisters and his mother without any kind of preparation. Wasn’t that a violation of your rules?”

I wondered how he had heard of Danny and the rest of the Sheridan family. I mentally set my question aside and said, “Yes, it was an exception. But zi wouldn’t call it a violation. We do our best to have clear procedures but not absolute rules.  A social worker discovered the boy and learned that he had escaped from a very dangerous home in another state, and hoped to somehow rescue his mother and siblings. We helped him do that. The social worker was a graduate of Smiles and knew our principal and me, and we invited him into my cohort. He fits in well and has been both helpful to our cohort group, and we have been a haven for him. How do you know about him and his family?” Jack responded that he had just heard about them from a fellow at his office. That did not sound right to me. And I would explore this further later. Back to today…

 “Last evening, Patria and I divided our group, including her and me, into three groups of four. We believe our groupings are divided into four people who will be good teachers to one another. Oh, and we believe that everyone, from the time we are born, is constantly learning from those around us and from our environment. In a way, we hope that the ten of you will get as open and close to one another in one week, as our students do in a semester. Changing the subject, this morning, I got a call from Neil Stanley, our youngest participant, who told me that he was calling from the hospital where his wife was having their first baby, so he would have to drop out of our training. He and his wife hoped that the little rascal would wait a week. And just a few minutes ago, he called to tell me they had a boy and both mom and baby are doing great.” Everyone clapped, and I added, “The only good thing about it is that we now have twelve people for three groups of four. I’ll take Neil’s place in one group.” 

Just as the last participant sat down, I motioned for everyone to get back up. Julie started the music from The King and I – “Whenever I Am Afraid,” and we all began to dance. Even Jack was light on his feet, unlike yesterday. I thought that Roaman even wagged his tail and moved with the music. I, the old, grizzled veteran of this training, was more relaxed than on Monday. As soon as we sat down, Chet, the ‘old guy,’ said, “That was a very appropriate song for me for today. I’ve been a teacher for thirty years, and I believe I have been a fairly good one, but, looking back, I was too much of a strict disciplinarian. I like what you are trying to do here, and I hope I can get out of my old role as a ‘don’t smile till Christmas’ kind of asshole.’ Even saying ‘asshole’ was a crime.” He stopped, grinned, and sang off-key, “Whenever I’m afraid, I’ll hold my head up high.” We all laughed. I read off the list for each four-person group and asked everyone to join their foursome and place their chairs to face one another. At the beginning of Monday, we informed the entire ten that we were recording the goings on in the training. I had asked Patria to make sure she was recording her foursome clearly, as I would like to digest it later. This is my digest of her group discussions: