JESUS’S TEACHINGS ON HUMAN SEXUALITY–Don Hanley’s blog #85

For about 85 years, I have pondered and worried about being a sexual being. I wanted to know what Jesus thought about it and why priests and sisters don’t marry or have sex. Now, at 92, I’m still dreaming about Jesus and His mother, and the next time I meet them in my dreams, I’m going to find the courage to ask John and Mary about sex. Remember, these are my (Don’s) imaginings, not historical 'facts.’ 

Two evenings later, I sat in Mary’s flower garden, waiting for my courage to arrive. If it were the 20^th century and I were with a group of men, I might share the story of the Jewish guy who yelled at God: “Hey God, you’re giving the Muslims all this oil and telling us Jewish men that we have to cut what? Off our penises?” But now, sitting with Mary, John, and Ruth, I’d need to explain who Muslims are and why oil matters so much, and of course, I’d have to muster even more courage. So I said, “I would like to learn more about what Jesus taught regarding human sexuality because many Christian believers carry a lot of guilt—especially young men.”

John replied, “First, I would say that Jesus viewed the human body – both male and female – as something precious and sacred. And, of course, the body is an extension of the soul and not a separate ‘thing.’ Jesus frowned upon words and jokes about our genitals and lovemaking, as well as all aspects of our sexuality.  I remember thinking that he was a far more joyful and happy person than most, if not all, Jewish rabbis and other teachers. He advised that boys and girls should not engage in sexual intercourse until they are married. Only then would they be able to nurture and care for children born from their union.” John paused, stroked his chin, and added, “Jesus wanted us to nurture our ability to love and connect and not diminish anything that undermines our loving in our thoughts, words, or actions.”

I said, “Would Jesus have condemned those who had sex before marriage? And those who did it out of pure lust?”

“Don, I truly hope you understand that Jesus never condemned anyone. He aimed to guide, teach, and encourage us to be caring and loving individuals who view ourselves and others as valuable extensions of God’s creative endeavors. If we misuse our gifts in a harmful manner, we need to change our behavior and mindset. In a sense, we are all meant to be co-creators and co-artists in God’s creation.” He paused for a moment and then added, “If you’re asking whether it would be sinful to engage with another person simply because we wanted a sexual partner, I’m sure Jesus would say it’s wrong if we used any kind of force, as it would diminish both ourselves and the other person if it were only for casual pleasure. Would that be life-giving, as you like to say?” I nodded. “I understand.”

“During my time as a priest, the sins that young men confessed most frequently were ‘impure thoughts’ and masturbation. What would Jesus have said to them?”

Mary joined the conversation, asking, “What do you mean by ‘impure thoughts’? Does that mean I was only thinking about hurting or condemning someone? What do you and your so-called sinners mean?”

I chuckled lightly and said, “I’m sure my ‘sinners’ were just thinking about sex – whether it’s with a girl, a woman, or someone of the same gender. This raises another question: What did Jesus teach about homosexuality?” I was beginning to relax as we spoke. Both Mary and John seemed quite comfortable, and Ruth was attentive.

Mary sounded incredulous when she remarked, “Are you really telling us that you and others were taught that simply thinking about sex is sinful? My goodness, your culture seems to be moving backward in some ways! I would expect that after 2,000 years, you would be more informed than that. Your teachers or priests sound like a bunch of dumb-bunnies” Of course that wasn't the word Mary used but our angelic translated it as that delightful term - dumb-bunnies."

I chuckled and responded. "Yes they were and many still are. I love your playful words."

"Thank you. Jesus taught me to be much more enlightened and playful with my words and thoughts about sex. In so many ways, he was so much more alive than our Jewish teachers. 

John added, “Regarding homosexuality, Jesus did indeed address that topic when he was asked why he hadn’t married. After all, he was thirty when he began teaching and his public ministry. I remember his response clearly, as I was also older than most Jewish men when they married. Jesus replied, ‘I am not homosexual, for I believe I must now dedicate my time and energy to revealing God’s will that all humans are gifted beings. We are so gifted that each of us can help others become more loving, kind, and connected than we are now. We must learn to appreciate our gifts and support one another and so please our Father. It’s not only about following Moses and other Jewish leaders' rules and laws. We are created to live a loving and creative life for the benefit of all, which includes all living things, not just humans." John went on to say that some men and some women were born to be most loving and sexually comfortable with those who are of the same gender as themselves. And some have a difficult time discovering which gender they are. And everyone, Jesus taught, had the challenge of becoming loving persons. 

I was disappointed when I disappeared because I had more questions. Now . . . 

Please continue to grow, create, and love. Also, keep thinking, studying, enjoying life, and embracing your gifts.

CHALKBOARD REVELATIONS ON WHEN WE DIE? - Don Hanley’s blog #77

One of my daughters gave me a book for Christmas called A Year to Live. The subtitle is How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last. I’m unsure if she is worried about my health or just hopeful that I’ll be ready (and not holding anyone back) to go wherever people go. I recently read an article about a small group of “parapsychologists” at a university in Virginia who study people, usually young children, who seem to ‘remember’ living a past life.

I smiled as I remembered my first year as a priest. I was asked to teach religion daily to students in grades five through eight at our parochial school. I wanted to engage the students in our studies, but I couldn’t get the fifth and sixth graders to discuss anything; they were too used to sitting still in their chairs and being told to learn all the absolute truths that I, the wise and loving messenger from God, would share with them. Even then, I was convinced I was a phony, not as wise or loving as they believed.

The seventh graders were a different story. Four or five girls wanted to discuss everything. One day, I shared with them the traditional beliefs I had learned through folklore, seminary classes, and other sources—when we die, we are judged to ensure we are ‘cleansed’ of the stains of mortal sins. If I or anyone had sinned and hadn’t gone to Confession with a ‘holy’ priest, then I, or we, would go to hell.

When I finished, a cheeky girl named Carol asked if she could use the chalkboard (the whiteboard had yet to arrive). I said, "Sure." She approached the board, picked up a piece of chalk, and drew two circles on the left side of the very wide board.

She wrote Joe over one circle and Jack over the other. “I call on Joe because he was a very good Joe. He loved his wife and children and was kind to everyone.” Then, she drew a wobbly line upward and over to the right side of the board, creating a circle near the top as high as she could reach. She returned to the left side and made a downward wobbly line to the bottom of the board, saying, “I named this one Jack because he was mean and stubborn like a bad mule—he was a Jackass.” She drew a short line through Joe’s lifeline and said, “Then Good Joe commits a mortal sin, and before he can go to Confession, he dies and goes to hell.” She drew another line for Joe plunging to hell. “According to our teacher here,” she pointed at me, then returned to the left side of the board, making a series of marks along Jack’s lifeline, and continued, “Now Jackass is a very sinful fellow heading right down to hell, but then realizing how sinful he has been, he goes to Confession; or is dunked by some preacher or declares himself as a believer in Jesus, and bingo.” She drew a straight line up to heaven and added, “And, by golly, Jackass is no longer an ass; he is in heaven."

Then she looks at me in a defiant way and says, "Now, if you say that's how God operates, Father Don, I’m not believing another word you say!” Carol turned up her nose and proudly marched back to her desk. I told her I wouldn't say that (even though, I had been very close.) and I clapped, and the rest of the class joined me. That was one of my earliest steps towards doubting the rigid teachings of my Catholic faith.

Wanting to hear John and Mary’s thoughts on all this, I recounted that eye-opening day from sixty years ago. First, they laughed, then Mary cried, saying, “Don, that is so sad. Jesus never, ever wanted people to be afraid of dying and being with the Father. We are all born with the ability to be kind, compassionate, and joyfully loving. And yes, we are ‘sinful,’ meaning we are unfinished as created beings and will stumble and fail as we journey through life, but for the love of God our Father, we are never disconnected from Him.”

John added, “Both Mary and I heard Jesus say as he hung from that cursed cross, ‘Father, into Your hands, I commend my Spirit.’ Those are the only words Jesus spoke about the nature of life after death. So, dear Don, please dismiss any thoughts about a horrible judgment regarding not being with God, Our Father. I’m sure it will be pure bliss.” Mary agreed, stating, “I concur with John.” And with those happy thoughts, I disappeared again. Now . . .

Find a blissful place in your mind and heart, dismiss the menus of doom, and partake in the banquet.