DAMNIT - I AM NOT A ROBOT–Don Hanley’s blog #102

. . . But they, i.e., teachers, ministers, family members, and our culture, sure tried to make me one. Read these sentences slowly:

Now repeat after me: I am a good boy if I do what I am told to do. If I do not obey, I will be punished in some way. I might be spanked or hit, or I might miss something like a meal, or be put on a ‘time-out’. I could also be ignored or face other punishments. I will live in fear. In the most severe homes, churches, or schools, even if I don't understand what I am supposed to do, I will be punished for not doing it.

“I am a worthless little pile of shit.” That one line was laid on me when I was six years old in 1939. Most others had different and softer labels applied to them, but they too often were not helpful enough to lift the mantle of being too small, too ignorant, or not helpful, and so on. “You are a good boy (or girl)", is of little help.

“God made me and I must love Him, serve Him, obey Him, and fear Him, if I wish to go to heaven when I die and be happy with Him forever.” I know Him and learn what He wants me to do by carefully listening to what the holy priests, or wise parents, or teachers, or other adults who are smarter than me, tell me what to believe and to do. Again, I live in fear.

Throughout my 90+ years, I have often wondered what kind of telepathic communication parents use to get their children to be obedient. Now I believe that they share a similar kind of fear about being a ‘good parent’ or being condemned by the society of parents around them. When I was working as a family therapist, I was assigned a young mother of a two-year-old who found my home address. One Sunday, she saw me working in our backyard. She brought her baby to meet me because she was having visiting time with the girl after having her taken away due to child abuse. She plunked the girl down on the grass, and as the baby sat there like a little zombie, Mom took a few steps over to me. She looked at me and then at her baby and exclaimed, “Isn’t she such a good little girl?” She clearly had not heard or understood anything I had said in our first three counseling sessions.

Researchers now tell us that the most complex entity in the universe is the human brain. It contains literally trillions of cells. When I read this, I thought of a twelve-year-old girl in England who was featured on 60 Minutes and who had composed a complete symphony—complete notes for every instrument in the symphony orchestra. The journalist asked her where the music came from. She answered, “From my head. Don’t you have music in your head?” She had not lived in fear. I’m afraid that many, if not most, children’s heads are drowning in fear rather than hearing the ‘creative music' or other giftedness in their heads.

Our individual brains contain billions of creative impulses, while a robot only has the ones stored in its programmed system. Study history and see the hundreds of hours of creativity that have been drowned by fear.

Now, ponder your own mental journey, and if you are a parent or other kind of teacher, stop drowning any creative pulses and fully own the phrase, I Am Not A Robot – and, of course, don’t just eat the menus.