WE HAVE NOTHING MORE TO FEAR THAN FEAR ITSELF–Don Hanley’s blog #87

I amended this now-famous phrase of FDR’s. I believe that Jesus of Nazareth also expressed similar sentiments in various ways throughout his public life. “I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly” is one of my favorite things Jesus said as he moved among the Judeans. Of course, he explained that every human being should not be afraid because we enter this world as gifted and loving individuals who are challenged to blossom into delightful persons. Unfortunately, many of us do not realize this and fearfully wander aimlessly around our little worlds, searching for someone to tell us what to do and how to live. Many die without realizing how wonderful they are because they are afraid to truly live.

All my life, I have wondered why I, and most other children, were so afraid to express ourselves naturally. I am thrilled to see a toddler who has been around adults encouraging him or her to enjoy themselves. Running, laughing, dancing, and having fun are delightful ways to engage with the world. The new ANNIE musical on Netflix displays such a delightful little girl.

Anne and I did our best to create that environment for our two daughters. When our oldest was about two years old, a friend and former classmate of mine, along with his wife and their four-year-old son, visited us at home. Their boy hesitated as he explored our space, quietly observing our daughter, who moved quickly and playfully around him. At one point, Elena dashed past him and headed for the kitchen where her mother was. During her swift journey, she accidentally knocked over my glass of water. She slowed down, noticed me getting up to grab a towel, and then continued to the other room. While I was cleaning up the water, my friend said, “Don, you didn’t scold her, spank her, or do anything after she spilled your glass!” I replied that it was an accident and she didn’t intend to knock over the water. I thought then, and still believe 50 years later, that scolding or punishing children when they are very young- and even as they get older- leads them to think that violence is common, necessary, and acceptable. They might continue to believe it is necessary.

I explored this idea with Mary, John, Ruth, and Josh. I left the discussion feeling confident that those faithful followers of Jesus and comfortable with their humanity are on the most favorable path. I still see too many children and adults who have had their spirits broken by fear-filled parents, teachers, and religious leaders. Both Mary and John were appalled to hear that many who claimed to be devout Christians still punished their children and believed it was necessary. They even quoted the minister I had mentioned months ago, who said, “If you have not broken your child’s spirit by the time he or she is two years old, you will have a monster on your hands.” 

Mary inspired hope in me when she said, “Well, the same spirit that empowered and enlightened my son, Jesus, is still alive and powerful in the world, so let us continue being KIND AND LOVING.” That made me feel a bit more relaxed when I disappeared. So . . . 

Continue to nurture your own and others' spirits and ability to be kind and life-giving. Spread the most positive menus, but don’t eat them; just enjoy the banquet.