LIFE IS A COOPERATIVE EFFORT, NOT A COMPETITION–Don Hanley’s blog #86

Humans, as we think we know them, have lived on this planet for around 200,000 years. Most of us have learned that we are all different and possess unique gifts. However, even in 2025, the two wealthiest men in the world are competing to be recognized as the planet’s richest man. This pattern of comparing ourselves to others and feeling envy towards those who are, in any way, better than us begins early and persists late into life - if we allow it.

Every day, I read or hear that if we buy or achieve this something or other, I will be the best or, at least, better than most others. I remember when I was eleven years old, thinking I was so lucky that I lived in the greatest and strongest country in the world and belonged to the biggest church organization. Of course, that made me ‘better’ than others who did not belong. And, of course, my god was better than any other god because my god was the only real and true one. As I mentioned once before, I like the comment that enjoying eating my pancakes is an excellent way of looking at life. When I’m finished with these pancakes, I enjoy getting up from my chair and thanking whoever served the pancakes, breathing the mostly clean air, and on and on – if I’m fully awake and alive.

When I hear or read that someone is now the school’s, the country’s, or the world’s best this or that, I believe my best internal response needs to be, “Hmm, that’s interesting.”  Or, I could simply ignore it and move on, enjoying what is happening in my world and my life, even if that consists of finding the next meal. And, if that is the best I can do and I am among people I do not know, I need to start making friends with some people around me. I, fortunately, never had to be in that position because I think I hated to be called a ‘beggar’ of any kind. And I’m still, at 92, quite ashamed of being that self-centered. 

I suppose comparing ourselves to others is a way of measuring ourselves and growing up. I remember when I was a lad wanting, someday, to be bigger than my brother, who was nearest me in age and often beating on me. I wanted to be big enough to beat the hell out of him. I never made it and finally lost interest in the competition. I am now nearly 40 years older than he was when he died in his 50s. Did I win? Of course not – life is not a competition but a coop, and I wish I had done more for my bro and given up my resentment earlier in our lives. 

To help us grasp this meaning, I recommend THE FUNDAMENTALS OF CAREGIVING, a film I recently watched on Netflix. I asked John, my Nazarene dream friend, about this, and he told me that when we first began following Jesus around Judea and Galilee, we jostled to be the closest to him. Jesus instructed us to love and help one another, which was enough. So now, please relax and enjoy your pancakes, along with everything and everyone in your life.

Keep nurturing and knowing your inner self, often ignoring the menus, and enjoy being you.