School of Two Thousand Smiles–Chapter Twenty Four

ON THE FIVE PHASES OF HUMAN DEVELOPMENT - CHAPTER 24 

SAM

On the second to last Friday before Christmas vacation, the students asked about Artificial Intelligence, and several of them said that their moms and dads have been talking about it. I told them we’d talk about it in our last cohort meeting before our vacation. So, on Monday, I asked everyone whether they had any problems or ideas they would like to work on. Only Joe Jackson raised his hand, “I would like to have about two or ten thousand dollars, so I could buy a new car for my mom for Christmas.” He looked down his nose at everyone, and ended with me, and smirked.

I took my wallet out of my pocket, opened it to the fold, and pulled out all my green money – one ten, one five, and two ones. I showed it to Joe and to everyone and said, “I don’t think this will do it, will it?” Everyone laughed or at least chuckled. Joe shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. 

I said to myself that our cohort needs to dosomething to help Joe and his family.

I said, “Okay, I said I would like to explain more fully the idea that we all possess five developmental phases but may not experience all five of them They are: infancy, childhood, teeenage, adulthood and maturity. All are human growth periods, or as one professor I had called them - adolescences - of human growth phases – physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Maria held up her hand and waved to me. She had a twin sister in the other 5^th. grade cohort, and I was glad to see her being excited, as she was quite shy. “Sam, my sister, and I came up with a song that I think would fit your idea of the human development phase. We taught it to the whole fifth-grade class. Could we sing it for you?” I responded yes, of course.

Maria jumped up and shouted, “Okay, guys, let’s all stand up and sing for the old man.” She passed out a page with the words to their song to everyone, including me. Sam, the tune is from the Do, ray, me song in Sound of Music.

Love, a force to help us grow,
Heart is something all can know.
Mind is something we can change,
Learning, stretching, growing range.

Arms are stems we use to hug,
Hands write love when touch is snug.
Touch is how we truly connect,
Use all three to show our love

When your hearts and minds are one,
You can love most everyone.
Use all three to stay a friend,
And that brings us back to love again.

Lo, lo, love, so smile and see,
Love is you, and love is me.

All the non-wheelchair-bound swayed as they sang, and Olivia moved with them. At the end, I clapped enthusiastically, and I must admit I needed to wipe the tears from my eyes. “Wow, Maria, that is wonderful, and it does fit with our growth phases. Thank you. All of you join me and give a hand to Maria and Juanita.” I was truly delighted to see and hear such positive expressions come from our students. I hope they record their singing so I can use it in the facilitator training I will be doing in January. Now, back to our exploration of Artificial Intelligence and human growth. I’ve been thinking about it all weekend because it is very important for us to learn to use artificial intelligence creatively and positively. The keyword here is USE, because AI is a human creation that is like a living encyclopedia that we can use or maybe let others use for, with, or against us.” I didn’t tell them that I think we have subjected children to what I call superficial intelligence for centuries by demanding that they memorize words that tell us what someone else thinks is happening or has happened, and what we should do about it. My own dad told me that he and his fellow students in elementary school were taught that Native Americans were savages and many other falsehoods. And now, some of those same educators are worried about the dangers of AI. I continued with my explanation, “I hope you all remember me telling you about the professor who taught that every person, if he or she lives long enough, may go through five phases of growth and development. How many remember that? Two raised enthusiastic hands, while the rest looked a bit puzzled and rather timidly raised their hands about halfway. Chris loudly proclaimed the five stages of adolescence: ”Infant, child, teenager, adult, and maturity.” And Ella added, “And you said that the professor stressed that only a small percentage  of people make it into the mature or enlightened phase – at least long enough to make a difference.” 

I thanked them both and continued, “To make it easier to remember and to explain, let’s try this: Gordo, your desk is near the back wall, now please move it a little closer to the wall. You can stay in your chair for now or stand over by the door. Debbie, move your desk about 3 feet in front of Gordo’s. Chris, move yours 3 feet in front of Debbie’s, and Evie – in front of Chris. Now, we have 5 sections.” I walked back to where Gordo was standing near his desk and said, “Let’s call this space, closest to the wall, the INFANT phase. Now everyone move up close to near the white board.” I moved with them and then said, “I’ll walk back to the Infant phase and imagine I am the parent of an infant.” When I got there, I saw that Evie was the one standing closest to me, and I said, “Now Evie, tell us what you are thinking and feeling right now.”

“Gosh, I feel like I’m about to cry and I don’t know why.” And she began to shed tears and through her tears said, “This is crazy.” I moved my hands to hopefully encourage that it was okay and to continue crying if she wished. She did.

I quietly said, “Evie is saying that she is remembering and even feeling her infant self, and we, all of us, still have our own infant self still in us. Our phases are not like stair steps, where we leave one as we move to the next, but we keep our previous phase and move into or blend into the next. “Now imagine that you are an infant with nine other infants and slowly and gently walk back and join Evie.” I waited a moment for all of us to imagine we’re going back in time, and I said. “Now imagine how you’d express yourself.” Immediately, I heard fake crying and words like, “Mommy,” “I want my mommy.” “I wet my pants.” Followed by giggling and a “No, I really didn’t.” Laughing, more fake crying, and someone shouted, “Get me out of here.” And someone else yelled, “But I’m safe and warm in here, and I don’t want to go where I’ll be cold and lonely.” “Here’s another mouth to feed.” “Oh, honey, isn’t she beautiful?”  and more muttering. 

Danny had not said a word, so I asked him what he was thinking and feeling because he most certainly had the most complicated Infancy. He looked very serious and began, “I’m thinking about me as a baby. My mom became pregnant before she married Ratso, the one I always thought was my dad until a few weeks ago. I found out that Ratso wasn’t my biological dad, and I’m glad because he was a bastard, and I don’t know who he was, but he had to have better genes. I think my mom kinda used me as a shield and hoped Ratso wouldn’t kill her if she was holding me.” I could see that Danny was holding back tears, and I put a hand on his shoulder.

After about 5 minutes, I shouted, “Okay, you all relax, move apart and take some deep breaths. I think we can all agree that it can be a warm and pleasant place but a place we cannot stay in, right?” They all nodded and/or muttered assent. “So now, …” I pointed to the 3 on the left side of the group. “you 3 move into the second phase, follow me.” I stood between the infant crowd and the second desk. “Now, I am a child and you 3,” I pointed to them.  “…are with me and start doing what a young child might do.” As a member of our foursome, I moved around aimlessly and looked at my three companions, Chris, Maria, and Olivia. “What do you want to do?” Maria ran over and gently pushed Olivia’s wheelchair back and forth. And Olivia made awkward stabs at her. Chis ran around us and waved his arms and shouted, “I’m a bird, and I’m going to fly out of here.” I encouraged 3 more to join in the Child phase and then of the remaining 4. Two sat on the side of the group, hugging themselves and rocking back and forth, while the other two began play-fighting with another kid and laughed. 6 of the 10 seemed to be really enjoying themselves, and 4 of those 6 were quite mischievous. This went on for a few minutes, and I shouted, “Okay, gang, what are you feeling? You all seem to express yourselves as your younger child, but you, now at the ages 10, 11, and 12, are theoretically still in the CHILD phase. So how are you expressing yourselves as older kids in the Child phase?”

Maria said, “I express myself and feel different when I’m in different situations and with different people.” Several others nodded, and Maria went on. “When I’m home and with my brothers and sisters, I feel like a young child because all four of them are older than me. Then, when I’m babysitting my niece, I feel like an adult. And when I’m here with you all, I feel, well, like myself - whatever that is.” 

I was glad to hear Dave say something about how he feels. As he is probably the most reluctant talker in the cohort. He said, “I never feel like an adult, and I do pretty much feel like who I really am – a 11-year-old – when I’m around you guys. I really felt like a baby when one of my uncles called me a retarded brat. I wanted to hit him, but I didn’t, of course. I can’t wait to be an adult. I want to jump over being a teen because I hear so many bad things about teens, and nobody seems to like them – they don’t even like themselves. I asked the two self-huggers why they chose those positions. Chris, especially surprised me as he is one of the most outgoing ones in the group. He said, “I really was a scared rabbit when I started pre-school because it was the first time I had spent a morning away from my mom. And my fear lasted throughout my infancy and into early childhood. I think my kindergarten teachers were very kind, and I began to be more confident. Now, I think I was mimicking my mom, who is still shy around new people.”

The other shy person, Debbie Ma, was still quite shy but very friendly and had a delightful smile, shared that everyone in her family, two brothers and both parents, were all shy. “I guess we all have shy genes.” She said and giggled.

Everyone shared how they felt and thought about their infancy and childhood. I thought it was a good time to tell them that some of our characteristics are inherited through our genes, so I started with what Danny had said about himself. “So, Danny, you probably have your physical characteristics from whoever impregnated your mom – like your height, skin color, good looks…” He grinned at that, and I added, “I mean that. And many other physical traits. Your ‘Ratso’ probably had his personality and meanness modeled for him from his own growing up dad and other males, and you, thank god or more likely your mom’s gentleness and caring. You have decided to be a positive person who is only occasionally provoked into being hurtful to another person. And even with all that said, an odd gene or five comes along in a family, and a boy is born with brown eyes in a blue-eyed family. We really don’t know why these things happen. Our parents provide the clay, and we are the main artists who form ourselves into a positive and likable person.” I glanced at my watch and said, “It’s time to stop, so we’ll have to wait until next week to discuss our Teen, Adult, and Mature phases. So, you have a week to discover what kind of teen and adult you plan to become.