Being OBEDIENT & COMPLIANT Can Be Hazardous to Your Health #14

When I was a child, I was told the reason I was born: “To know God, to love God, and to obey God, so I could be happy with Him in heaven when I die.” And the worst part, I learned later, was that to know God, I must listen to and obey those “big people” whom God has put in charge to make sure I was taught how to think, speak, and act properly so that I would be pleasing to God. And those people were my parents, teachers, and most importantly, the priests. Wow, I was doomed. I had to obey all of these people, or I would go to hell and burn up, over and over and over again, forever.

That was how I formulated the life of fear I thought in my mind and felt in my body. As a priest and later as a psychotherapist, I learned that everyone seemed to be motivated by some fear that prevented them from feeling positive about themselves and their lives. Instead of bringing to the tasks of human growth and education when experiencing this wonderful world, they were told that this world is a very dangerous place and that if we hoped to survive, we must obey our parents and all the other authority persons who, supposedly, are in charge of us. And even later, I learned that conforming to how others my age thought and acted was equally lethal. It is important for us to be certain that we are following our lights even if it is not the ‘in thing’ to be doing.

When I saw my first newsreel showing thousands of German soldiers robotically saluting that ugly guy with a mustache, I wondered what their ‘big people’ had told them about what pleased God and how they must obey and conform. I hoped that ugly guy’s message didn’t get to our country. I began silently questioning what my ‘big people’ told me about what to think, say, and do. My thinking became too muddled for me to understand, and I began to have headaches – every day. I tried to d
o my best to obey, but I was never obeying fast enough or correctly, I guessed.

There is a false positive to being obedient and conforming, and that is: You will get ‘atta boys’ from your superiors (i.e., parents, teachers, and other authorities). And you will have an excuse to avoid responsibility for doing some ordered atrocious things, like brutally killing innocent people. You can say, “See what they made me do? I was following orders.” That is very much a FALSE positive.

I’m proud of this short paragraph I wrote in my novel, A New World of Hope. I was describing my idea of a future school: “First, I hope that every graduate will become a compassionate ‘free thinker’ – someone who thinks for themselves and doesn’t just blindly follow anyone else even if they also think that person is wonderful (or even sent by God). And each graduate will have learned to connect with and understand others and be compassionate toward all.”

Now, on a daily basis, examine your thoughts, feelings, and actions, discover where they came from, and freely choose to direct yourself to the life-giving path YOU want. I want to be a life-giver and not a follower. Now…

Nurture your heart, and don’t eat the menu.