ELLA
I looked back to make sure my new lunkhead student was following me into the classroom. He was. I saw Sam talking with Olivia about something, and I wanted to go over and stomp on his foot for saddling me with this jerk from Mississippi.
When we moved here from St. Louis two years ago, I was mocked a little for my funny accent, but it was nothing compared to Danny’s. One guy mimicked me by saying, “Harses eat carn in the marning.” My Dad said that St. Louisites always pronounced ‘o’s before ‘r’s like they were ‘a’s. However, I suppose Mississippians spoke a distinctly different dialect. I bet if Danny went to one of the old-fashioned regular schools, he’d be razzed to death.
I’m looking forward to seeing how he gets along with our cohort.
Sam saw us and yelled, “Hey, Ella, bring our new guy over here.”
Sam stood and took Danny’s right hand in both of his and said, “Welcome to our cohort, Danny. And thank you, Ella, for escorting Danny to our room. So, Danny, how’d you like the beginning of our day with the songs and dancing?
Just like, uh,“ I guess he forgot for a minute where Danny was from and then went on, “Oh yeah, Mississippi, huh?”
Danny rolled his eyes and muttered, “Yeah, like Mississippi in a pig’s eye. Back there, they almost handcuffed us and dragged us into rooms.” Despite the drawl, I was surprised at Danny’s articulation. I got the impression that he was already getting used to the easy and folksy way everyone acted and talked at our school. Danny continued, “Do ya’ll start every day like that?”
“Yes, if possible. Do you play a musical instrument?” Sam, sitting back down, looked up at Danny from his seated position.
“Yeah, a guitar, chords. Ah, but not in public – ever.” He looked like he was ashamed of himself for saying he only played chords. Sam said, “Well, you’ll get to know your fellow fifth-grade musicians soon. Your lovely escort, Ella, plays the guitar too.” Danny looked puzzled as he glanced over at me, like it was strange that I could play the guitar. Sam told him, “Find yourself a seat – ah, Ella is looking at us and patting the chair next to her. Go sit by her, she’s a great gal.”
7.
Danny headed over and sat down next to me and said, “Are ya sure he’s our teacher? He sounds more like my Uncle Charlie or our next-door neighbor. He even called you a ‘great gal’. Now that’s weird.”
“That I’m a great girl, or that he talks like a person?” He leaned back, smiled, laughed, and said, “Both.” I looked around and every seat was now taken. I whispered to Danny, “Sam will ask everyone to introduce themselves to you, so relax and smile, okay?” He nodded.
Sam shouted, “Okay, all you people, welcome back to our wonderful cohort. I know all but one of you from last year, but I’m new as your cohort facilitator. And, we have a new member who, I guess, is replacing the irreplaceable Steve Patter.” He pointed toward us and said, “Welcome, Danny White.” Everyone yelled, “Welcome, Danny.” And clapped. Sam continued, “Now, each of you introduce yourselves to Danny, and Danny, we’ll wait to hear from you after everyone else gets to tell us who they are now, after they’ve been born again over the summer.
“Let’s start with you, Olivia.” Olivia was an original member and had cerebral palsy. She had never let it stop her from sharing her thoughts and feelings. She had learned that the best way to ‘talk’ was to sing her words in a sing-songy kind of way. She began, using the tune from the "Do-Re-Me" song in The Sound of Music. “Well, I’m Olivia, and I became a singing teacher who teaches CP kids how to talk to you. I attended the University of San Diego, and I loved it. Now I am somebody.” She puffed out her chest, and everyone clapped. She sang, “And now I give you thanks.”
I’m sure I would never be as cheerful as she is if I had cerebral palsy. She shakily moved a hand toward the boy next to her.
Joe Jackson was a skinny African American guy who was much darker than I and didn’t have an ounce of shyness in him. “Well, I’m Joe, and, guys and gals, I am now a professional weed puller, trash man, and carpenter’s helper who builds dog houses. Oh, and I sang Ol’ Man River in a summer play at the Parks and Rec. summer playhouse. So, I’m now a professional singer!”
We clapped and laughed. I wonder if Sam thought of sending Joe after Danny.
Sam said, “Now, we’ll go around the circle and to our right. So, Ella, tell us about you.” I took a deep breath, “I am now a certified infant caregiver. My mother’s sister gave birth to a baby boy in June.” Immediately, everyone clapped and yelled, “Hallelujah.” And everyone waved their hands as if they were at a Black church meeting, and I noticed Danny looked like he was in a zoo. “And…the new Mom hired me to be the baby’s nanny. I started in July.” They clapped again. “I like being a nanny, but I’m also glad I get to go home every night, too. Now my aunt must hire somebody else to be the nanny, but I’ll continue when I can.”
8.
I turned to Debbie Ma, the only Asian American in our group and one of the five ‘originals’.
“I’m Debbie, and I’m happy to be back with you all, and I’m now able to be a mommy. I began having my period last month!” Everyone clapped and yelled “Huzzah”. “And I do not plan to be a mommy for at least ten years, and this preparation period is going to be a pain.” We all laughed. Joe chuckled and said, “Yeah, we wouldn’t want to see you having a baby that would make your role the same as your last name.” More laughter. I’m sure that when I begin having periods, I won’t be as open about it as Debbie, and I admire her courage. My mom said I’d probably be having my period any day now. I was pretty sure I’d keep it to myself – and mom, of course.
Sam asked Debbie, “Debbie, did Joe’s comment about your last name bother you?” She shook her head and said ‘no’. Dave was on Debbie’s right and was probably the shyest one in the cohort. I was surprised when he began with, “Wow, Debbie, you’re a hard act to follow. I’m pretty sure I’m not even close to being ready to be a papa. Oh, and Danny, I’m Dave. And back to babies, I’ve only changed my nephew’s diaper once, and he peed all over me. And that was this summer, so I think that helped me be born again – the baby’s name was Jeff, so King Jeff christened me like the queen christens a ship with a bottle of champagne. Uh, I’d rather have champagne than pee for my christening.” He earned a round of applause.
Sitting next to Dave is Maria, who is Latin American and nearly as shy as Dave. “Danny, I’m Maria, and I continue to be a professional mommy for my two sibling brats. I use ‘brats’ lightly because they are adorable, but they are kids, and they are not mean or cruel at all. I must admit that I get along better with my little brother than I do with my little sister. Anyway, my mom does appreciate me, so my ‘profession’ is good. So, you guys will help me have a vacation from them, right?” We laughed and clapped. I wondered if Danny had any siblings, and if they were younger, I bet his Mom rarely asked him to be their babysitter. Gender discrimination isn’t done yet.
Gordo, our biggest member, and one who could even laugh at his nickname, ‘Gordo’. He was a co-teacher of Spanish and called us ‘mono-lingual idiots’, as he would laugh at our struggling attempts at speaking Spanish. “Well, believe it or not, I am now officially a Spanish instructor.” He looked around at all of us and continued, “And you all have helped me to become a teacher. I am officially an assistant at the summer program for high-school students right here in this building.” We all shouted “Wonderful!!”
I looked across the circle at Evie; she and Olivia were the only light-complected girls in our cohort. And she was also the most developed physically. I thought she was astute and poised, but she didn't act superior at all, and I liked her. “Well, as you all know, I hope to
9.
I became an actor and got a start this summer. Like Joe, I was in a play this summer. I was the younger sister of one of the main characters. I was a smart-alecky brat and had about ten words to say. So, I’m an actress.” She looked down her nose at us, and everyone but Danny laughed. He just looked confused.
Chris was the last one to share before Sam and Danny. Chris was as white as Danny, and I thought he was handsome. He was also smart, athletic, and kind. If I were ready for a boyfriend, I’d choose him. “Good morning, Danny, and you all. I’m glad to be back in school with you. My Dad worked my butt off this summer. You’d think I was forty years old because he had me do things only an old man could do. So, I guess I’m now a professional old carpenter’s helper. We built an entire house in three months, and I was Dad’s only full-time helper.” We all clapped, and I think I blushed as if I were already his girlfriend. Chris turned to Sam, “Now, old man, tell us how you were born again.”
“Okay. I enrolled in a six-week program on how to reach a bunch of smart-alecky fifth graders.” We all groaned. “And I gave a talk at a teachers’ conference on how to bring the very best out of wonderful boys and girls who love me and want to grow up to be outstanding people!” We all yelled, ‘Hoo–rah!’ “And most important, I am now the proud papa of a baby girl!” That brought on a double Hoo–rah, and clapping. “And like Dave’s experience, I’ve been ‘christened’ dozens of times already. So now, Danny, tell us about yourself and start with what you now think of your cohort buddies.”
I was anxious to hear what he was going to say. In his deep southern drawl, he began, “Well, first ya’ll talk funny, unlike me.” He mimicked Evie and looked down his nose at us, and we all jeered. He went on, “First, I’d just like you to know that, so ya’ll would know that I’m aware of my Mississippi accent. Up until a month or so ago, I’ve lived my entire life near Oxford, Mississippi – the home of Ol’ Miss – the only state that has four ‘I’s and four' Ss in its spelling. Now, ya’ll, that’s something to brag about, huh?”
We groaned, and he grinned. “Because, unlike Ella, my Mom and Dad do not have doctorates. I don’t think my mom ever graduated from high school, and my dad probably graduated from a school in hell.”
He looked over at Sam, seemingly waiting to be scolded, but Sam just sat there and frowned. Danny went on a bit more hesitantly, but I thought bravely. He was sooo different from what I first thought. “In Mississippi, we gotta pay to go to kindergarten, but I didn’t go. It isn’t a public school there. For four years, I sat in a straight row of desks. I mean big desks, not this kind of one-arm chair. I was told to sit still, keep quiet, pay attention, and do as I was told. Period. My teachers would have fainted if they had heard the way you all talked. And, Debbie, you would have been expelled from school for mentioning that you had started your menstrual cycle. Oh, my god, they were sure that you were full of the devil himself.”
We all laughed, and I’m thinking that Danny was either putting on an act when I first met him or he’s acting now. Anyway, I’m liking him better. He went on, “I think the devil is always male. And girls are angels, of course.” We laughed harder, and I am amazed at his speaking ability and poise. I thought he’d stumble all over himself and be tongue-tied. He is amazing! “So, please be patient with me, I’ve never been with a bunch of openly bratty people my age before.” We all gave him a standing ovation.
10.
Sam stood up and added, “Wow, Danny, that was a great introduction. Welcome to our cohort. Oh, and have you been taking lessons from Joe Jackson here? We’ll take a restroom break and grab a snack or whatever, and we’ll get back together in five minutes.” He paused and said, “Ella and Danny, would you please stay a minute?” Chris, Evie, and Gordo almost ran across the circle and shook Danny’s hand, and Gordo even gave him a bear hug. Danny grinned from ear to ear. I’m sure he felt welcome, and my reservations about him vanished. I felt proud to have been his escort.
Danny and I went to meet with Sam. Sam said, “Danny, would you mind if Ella kind of acted as your guide for the week?” Before I could say anything, Danny said, “Okay, I guess, if it’s okay with her.” I told him it was okay with me, but I wasn't sure why. He looked at me, and I smiled. Sam told Danny that he would see him at 3:30 this afternoon.